SEA Currents: Robert C. Seamans
August 06, 2016
Thoughts from the Ocean
6° 22.3’ S x 173° 42.0’ W
Our final stretch - the race to Pago Pago
Weather / Sail Plan
Another beautiful sailing day, sailing under the four lowers
After a while, we all charge through our arsenals of songs and distractions - anything to get through lookout on the bow. One after another we belt out snippets of lyrics and old tunes we used to know; we fidget back and forth, jump up and down; we even at times donate our sunglasses to the depths below - Neptune always accepts graciously I've been told. Eventually however we all find ourselves at the mercy of our own thoughts.
What I've come to realize is that I've always been uncomfortable in my own. Often, I'd find myself making excuses and pooling from every avenue I could think of to avoid them. I'd even hum tunes of songs I had so faintly known, as belting the lyrics out loud would prove to be unorganized and disjointed. Sooner than later I'd find myself alone and at the mercy of the stars and ocean.
At times I was generally afraid. In a panic I'd look all around me. To those watching from the outside it would perhaps look as if I was remaining vigilant, but in reality I had never felt more distress. In time I'd find myself drifting into old memories - many of which I had ruminated on for too long, others which I so greatly tried to bury in the deepest, darkest crevices of my mind and never revisit again.
Many of these thoughts on the surface led to self-deprecation. I could hardly believe what I was coming to. Moreover, I couldn't imagine how others could stand it. With time however I'd like to believe these moments have eventually led to clarity.
Mom, remember when you called me in Woods Hole? In tears you had told me you summited your first mountain; you had brought friends of course. However in many ways they were the ones who brought you straight to the top. Your voice was so frantic, almost paralyzing - but somehow you were lost in the greatly mixed terror and joy of conquering your fear.
Mom, I think I've found those friends. Like you, I too found ushers willing to hold my hand straight to the top. I only wish that you were here with me to see it happen, to see all of this happen. Mom, I think I finally summited.
I can't wait to tell you all about this adventure.
Missing you dearly,
P.S. To Madi, Christian, Dad, and Chloe, I miss you all terribly. I've yet to stop thinking about you. Please stay safe and merry. Moreover, have fun, and don't forget to laugh. It's your smiles that get me through the day.
My prayers go out all of you. Love, T.
From Jennah: I am hijacking Tom's post to send a Happy Birthday greeting to my sister from another mother, Adrianna. Know that all the way from this tiny ship floating in the middle of the Pacific, someone is thinking of you on this special day and sending you lots of love thousands of miles across the ocean. I love you!