SEA Currents: Robert C. Seamans
August 04, 2015
The Cast of Baewatch
BF 4 (approximately 16 knots) from the S x E
7 knots (motorsailing)
Writing this, I realize that time has very much escaped me. It could be any month, any day, even any year and I would not know. Yes, of course I hear rumors of how many days are left and how many weeks we have been on the boat, but the way I think about time, if I even consider it at all, is very different. Time has become a nearly nonexistent, foreign concept. This reflects the way that the way days and nights blend together as we sleep whenever possible, work at all hours, and all seem to have devices telling us the time at a different location. However, time itself is not the focus of my writings, but rather the way in which it is punctuated, specifically the people who punctuate it.
I am a member of Aft watch, but, please, we prefer to be called Baewatch. We are a collection of characters, without a doubt. We like to think of ourselves as the most charismatic of watches; while other watches may disapprove and attempt to label themselves as such, please, do not be mistaken. At any given moment, you will find us singing. On lookout this might be a solitary endeavor, but anywhere else singing alone is unheard of. We, as any sane, imaginative, and brilliant group, have a couple of go-to songs to describe the motion of the boat. As winds this year are few and far between, you would often find the boat motoring through the water. This action is always punctuated by the familiar song “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger. If we are learning a new knot, a nicer way to coil a line, or a fancier way to fold the awning, you must be deaf if you don’t hear a version of “Panda’s so fancy, we already know...” When coiling and hanging lines or doing something to make the ship look nicer, it would be odd if you didn’t hear “Werq, werq, werq, werq, werqin’ on my ship.” You might also hear “Smooth” by Santana and Rob Thomas because I often have it stuck in my head or “Too Much” by Sampha because sometimes a boat check is just too much to deal with. When setting or striking sails or gybing, you will undoubtedly hear strange voices call back commands followed by much laughter. Do not be afraid or confused; these voices are just the some of the many voices Andretzel uses. These are just a small sampling of the many songs you would undoubtedly hear if you were here on this ship with us. Be warned, if something you say seems to remind any one of us of a song it will most likely remind most of us of that song and it will, without fail, be sung, loud and proud.
In addition to our singing and collective voice, made so obvious by the consistent use of we throughout this post, we have a couple other defining characteristics. After second seating dinner, in which we are without fail the last people there, we will make mochas and sit on deck, sipping them as dusk falls upon us. Whenever there is a fish on and everyone calls out and calls back “Fish On!,” members of Baewatch can be heard saying “Déshaun!” During the first fish on situation, multiple members of Baewatch thought that “Déshaun” was being called out rather than “fish on”. As a result, every fish caught on the line is named Déshaun. Also after second seating dinner, you will often find us sitting, with our mochas, pinkie fingers up because we are a Rolex (a classy watch), cutting each other’s t-shirts or telling stories of our strange dreams.
Along with our singing, it is easy to distinguish between those that are on Baewatch and those that are not by what they are referred to as. On Baewatch, each person has a nickname.
- Stephen Moran – The Wolf, Wolfie, or el Lobo (usually followed by howling noises)
- Christina Sun, here referred to as Ollie – Olliwog
- Christina Quinn – Quinny Dip
- Taylor Smith – Tay Tay Smizzle, usually just Tay Tay
- Andre Price – Andretzel or the Burger King aka the Cheeseburglar
- Meghan Caveney – Snugglebutt or the Salpiest Salp Sista
- Madeline Schuldt – Madewan (pronounced like Padawan) or the Butcher
Not all of the nicknames have been fully fleshed out, but hopefully with another week or so, they will be. At this point, I do not have a picture of Baewatch in our bro tanks, but be expecting one soon.
With much love from Baewatch,