July 5, 2010
By Jenan Kharbush
As I stare out at the sunset this evening, trying to balance myself as the swells threaten to dislodge me from my perch on the deck box, I find myself marveling at how far we've come – not just with respect to distance, although 2,600 miles across the Atlantic is pretty impressive. I think back to how little I knew at the beginning of our expedition, and it's hard to believe how comfortable I've become in just one month.
During the last phase of the trip, everyone has the opportunity to take charge of a watch. The mate or scientist in charge steps back and allows you to call the shots: setting and striking sails, deploying equipment, and most importantly making sure everything gets done efficiently and safely. It is the final challenge in the series of challenges we've faced throughout the trip.
Personally I find such responsibility a very scary thing. But that's part of what the SEA sailing experience is all about. Facing your fears, pushing your boundaries, and really digging deep to find that last bit of strength you didn't even know was there. It's easy to stay safely within your comfort zone and not have to worry about all the things that could go wrong or the mistakes you will make. But the more you venture outside the limits you set for yourself, the more you learn, and the more confidence you gain.
For me the experience of being at sea, learning how to live and work on a sailing ship, is learning to get up again after being repeatedly knocked down. I don't mean physically – although I still run into things on the ship quite frequently – but mentally and emotionally. Like the ocean we're sailing on, sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down. The ups usually outweigh the downs, but sometimes getting back up from a particularly hard fall can be tough. We're constantly learning, and that means constantly making mistakes, but it's especially frustrating when you're cruising along, feeling like you've finally got everything under control when – BAM! That left hook came out of nowhere! And you're lying on the ground again, thinking about just giving up and staying there.
But if you can figure out how to accept your mistakes – how to learn from them, recover, and move on – then the next time you fall, you get up faster and you get up stronger. It's a lesson in determination and perseverance, and it's something I've learned to apply in my "normal" life on land. When hard work, mistakes, and unexpected setbacks no longer frighten you, there's really nothing you can't accomplish.
It's really inspiring watching everyone on board gradually become stronger, more secure, and more sure of hand and foot on the rise and fall of the deck. The enthusiasm of my shipmates motivates me to seek out and even enjoy the challenges of each watch. Handling lines and setting a sail on an overcast, pitch-black night is an achievement in ways that you really don't understand until you're right in the middle of it. Even as I struggle to describe what life at sea is like, it is really difficult to understand until you experience it for yourself. It's a little like trying to describe a thunderstorm to someone who has never experienced one firsthand.
Secretly I think everyone should go to sea at least once. If everyone knew and understood the lessons learned at sea, the world could be a much different place. Being at sea is constant challenge, involving limited sleep, back-breaking work, and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning; but in the end it's all worth it. Life is about exploring, surpassing old limits, and setting new goals. So far I've found no better way to do that than to be at sea. There are ups and downs, and the downs are hard, but the ups can make sailing feel like flying.
